True love. What a great feeling! Books, movies and songs are made about it. We all tend to think there is one true love for us and we can’t be eternally happy until we find it.
So we search all over and finally find someone and it does feel fantastic – for about the first six months or so. During this time, we feel totally loved and we love everything about our new mate.
After about six months or so we find that the feeling of true love begins to fade some. We start to have little arguments and conflicts. We notice we want a little space or we get hurt that our mate wants some space. What happened to true love. Is it lost?
No, it isn’t. This is going to happen for all of us. Researchers have found that relationships have phases. They call the first phase of a new relationship the oceanic love phase. This is where everything is great and we feel so loved and loving towards our mate. It is a powerful bonding phase. It feels great.
But then, the research finds, we all move out of that phase into the me/us phase. In this phase, we differentiate, we separate some, we get back to working on our own goals and interests, we don’t want to spend ALL our time with our mate. We start having some conflicts with our partner in this phase. This is normal and healthy and natural.
If we didn’t move apart some, we wouldn’t be able to function well in the world. We’d be a merged mess with our partner, trying to get all our happiness from each other, which doesn’t work long term. We each have to move on with our lives separately and as a couple, we have to take our journeys.
So here’s the thing. If you want to keep true love, you have to adjust.
Don’t give up when the oceanic love phase passes. You have to learn that it is deeper than just the first strong physical attraction. You have to figure out that it is about loving the whole person, with their strengths and weaknesses.
And understand that conflict will occur even with true love. Two healthy adults will pull in separate directions from time to time. True love includes conflict and working things out when they get a little uncomfortable, not running away. You don’t get to keep true love until you learn it is bigger than just the fun times.
You can learn much more about this in the free course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never Were Taught In School at Relationship Advice. Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can get more here Intimacy Relationship Help.
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If any one asks you to explain how their relationships started, many people like you wuold find it a bit too much of a push. few would give details of how they think it happened, but surprisingly, none would give a full account without the input of their partners.
This situation may arise due but not necessarily diverse objectives and goals at the start of the relationship. When people meet for the first time, and the subsequent times, they form an opinion about each other. Rarely, if ever it happens, do two people form similar opinions. On the initial meeting, one person may perceive the other party as a suitable party-partner or clubbing mate while that other partner perceives them as potential marriage mate.
While they all focus on different aspects and objectives, rarely do they discuss their feelings about each other together until it is too late.
They begin discovering themselves when deep in the relationship, rifts start emerging and feelings for other people outside their union start developing.
Do people always unite due to love? The answer tot his one cannot be a clear yes or no. It may be either or both. To some people, love starts early in their relationship, others have to put in extra efforts to develop sizeable feelings.
Although, commonly argued that people in love have mutual feelings for each other, rarely do these feelings match up. One person, many times, gives more and receives less compared to their partner, who might be holding on to some feelings for someone else. In a relationship, some people struggle to love their partners while the partner loves then effortlessly.
Bearing in mind what you mean for each other, it is wise to struggle all you can you make your partner feel loved and appreciate. Reciprocate most of what they do to you, assuming that you where getting into their shoes.
Do feelings of love last forever? At times, yes, but not always. There are times in a relationship when all is uphill. When every aspect of love requires huge efforts to accomplish, and when your partner does not look as interesting as before. These are the times when the fain-hearted loose their grip and start scavenging around for other bonds; bonds to fill the empty space they feel within. The effect here is a weaker relationship which many times die. Some unique thing may be working very well for you, but whichever way you look at it, you should never try to work down what is working well for both of you. As you look to explore other areas of your relationship, ensure what you are used to is well taken care of and achieved, this will help you in scaling new heights.
Your lover should be your greatest friend, the friend you share with every aspect of life and the one you always hold dear. It can never be perfect but avoid unearthing the ugliness of your affair. In as much as your weaknesses are known to you, try to work on them quietly without causing a big strive of them. The more you negatively portray your weaknesses, the less likely it is you will work them out. This may be a key to the end. Like what you are doing if it is not causing harm. As it is commonly said, ‘what is working does not need to be fixed’. Carefully beware of what you venture into. What you do not know, be wary of discovering or unearthing it, it may be the devil.
Solomon M Kiawa
A freelance writer in any field of interest but finds peace in writing sale, advertising, human resource and marketing issues which are his main areas of specialization.
In any serious relationship between a man and a woman, love and romance always comes into the picture like two peas in a pod. Most people always associate love with romance or the other way around. But can love exist without romance or can romance exist without love?
What is love? In a previous article I wrote, love was described as unfathomable or profound. It is a long lasting and intense feeling of attraction for another person that has no parameters, no boundaries or no limits. What then is romance? Some describe romance as an imaginative state of mind. It is a dreamy and romantic feeling which tends to be excitingly and intensely directed to another person.
So when love and romance is brought into a relationship then it blends into a long lasting and excitingly intense dreamy feeling of attraction directed to another person without limits. Love and romance is then a must in any relationship to keep it alive. Take a look at some love and romance tips that will keep a relationship alive:
Express your love. Do not let a day pass by when you do not say ‘I love you!’ to each other. Do it everyday and every chance you get. Say it out loud, thru text (SMS) messages or thru emails so that you will both think of each other often.
Adore each other. Appreciate what each one of you have brought into the relationship and accept each other’s faults and imperfections. Loving each other in spite of your flaws will strengthen the relationship.
Do not take each other for granted. Always take time out to ask each other what happened to your day. Always have time for each other. Being sensitive of each other’s moods at all times will enrich the relationship.
Be tolerant of each other’s mood swings. You are both only human and are prone to mood swings that sometimes just come and go. Indulge in each other’s emotions to maintain tranquility in the relationship.
Boost each other up. Never contradict each other. When one is feeling low, the other should boost him/her up. If both of you will act negatively during bad times then you will both end up feeling low and losing hope. Give each other a boost always to enhance the relationship.
Be passionate to each other. The fervor and the excitement in the relationship should always be there. Kindle the fires of passion and maintain the enthusiasm in the relationship.
There are a lot of love and romance tips describing how to show love and how to stir up the romance with your partner. However, all these tips will not be successful if you are both doing them out of love and without the passion to keep the relationship alive.
Let’s start with getting a girlfriend. Since I don’t know the type of girl you’re after, I’ll start with you. There are a few things a man needs to be sexually attractive: confidence, a good attitude, and sex appeal. To be honest with you women don’t find a body builder that’s too busy examining his muscles, rather than her, very attractive. What woman find sexy is a man that has a presence when he walks into a room, a leader not a follower.
Confidence is very important, especially if you’re trying to make a good first impression. But don’t mistake confidence with cockiness, the two couldn’t be more opposite. When first approaching a woman be friendly, and don’t be afraid to smile. A smile is a great ice breaker. When talking to a woman be a friend, don’t come right out and state your sexual intentions, or try to get her to dance with you. Use a conversation topic such as how you enjoy the band that’s playing, and don’t be afraid to ask her questions.
The first meeting should be like you’re meeting a friend. By not directly going after her you’re leaving some room for her to speak, and this makes her more interested in you.
Having a good attitude is the key to getting a girlfriend, and holding onto her. Ever since your first encounter with this girl you should be a nice person, not to be confused with a doormat. Being able to laugh and have a good time is something that will draw people towards you, which in turn makes her even more attracted to you! Not only does a good attitude help in the beginning, but it helps after the two of you have been dating for a while. Being a positive person makes it hard for a woman to get sick of you, or try to “mother” you. Being able to spend time together and have fun, especially if you can make her laugh will make her never want to get rid of you.
Contrary to what most men think sex appeal is largely linked to how a man presents himself, rather than just the exterior. Like I said, women find a man that has confidence and is a leader much more attractive than a man that has no self-esteem. Regardless of how you feel about your physical appearance it can always be brought up. Start by focusing on the positive attributes such as you have a nice smile, dress nice, and/or have a great personality. Do little things to boost your self esteem such as work out a few times a week, use a teeth whitener (this is a great idea because a smile is one of the first things a woman notices), and even getting a new haircut will do wonders for your self-confidence and sex appeal.
I don’t own a magic wand, I wish I did. But thanks to trial and error of my own, and my friends, I think I’ve been able to put together something that can help you. We’ve all been in a hard spot at one time or another, and what defines us is our ability to get out of it. If you have a minute I’d like to ask you to visit this video my friend put together. Most of the people I’ve talked to about relationships in crisis enjoy this website: http://www.themagicofmakingupstore.info I hope that it can do for you what I’ve seen it do for others.