Advice Needed… What to do.??What to do?

Question by : Advice Needed… What to do.??What to do?
I have known my partner for many years now. we met over a internet site my partner not at the time came to uk on a working visa from Australia. We was not looking for anything but when we met it just felt so right.. The saying falling in love at the first sight is true, My partner and i have been together for over 3 months now at the beginning of our relationship i told my partner that i had trust issues (from previous partner) and it took me some time to get over my issues i kept on getting ever so paranoid and jealous and i would approach my partner in such a horrible manner. E.g just assuming that something was going.. Well this is where i need the Advice on really…
My partner works away in London for 2weeks at a time.. When they are at work i seem i don’t know them as if they have distant themselves from me we start to bicker quiet alot, I ask myself is it cause we love and miss each other so much? or is it just me being Paranoid?? My partner says they fell in love with me and wants to have a future together it came to talking about marriage and my reply was marriage isn’t my top priory at the moment.. was that wrong from me? i mean i would love to marry the person im head of heels in love with but isn’t it to soon? i haven’t met their family and i know how much of a family person my partner is.. since being away at work my partner has took 10 steps back and ive took 10 forward ive been told to wait and they will soon join me, but shall i wait? cause ever since they have been at work their attitude,showings of feelings the way they talk to me just isn’t them.. we was on the phone last night and my partner says to me i want to go back to Australia and i don’t want to come back…Ouch??? i felt my world came tumbling down on top of me… i just burst into tears couldn’t control my emotions..i asked the question what is going to happen to us? All i got was ” i don’t know” …. ” i don’t want a long distance relationship” Have i pushed my partner away? or can it just be they are missing home,family,friends & life style ? how do i show my support when i have tried and i just get it thrown in my face? at the moment im a emotional wreck i do trust my partner wouldn’t cheat to me but i have been lied to in the past… last night during our phone call it ended up me hanging up i went to ring back a second later and it was going Straight to voice mail..( like earlier that day i tried to call for hours and it was just going to voice mail) i sent txt and got no reply but knew it had been delivered is this me just being over paranoid? i told my partner i would rather let them go back home and be heart broken then them be here and not be happy! is that a right choice? or is this just to test my strength on our relationship because my partner seems to think im not in to them…im confused on how to take this all in cause maybe i might just be over reacting cause we are going through a rough time, I FEEL LIKE MY HEART IS GETTING RIPPED OUT! i don’t know what to do need advice on how to go about this or has anyone else dealt with a similar problem?

Best answer:

Answer by Roxanne S
Well first off, I think the reason for the distancing and bickering was both you being paranoid and loving/missing each other so much.
It definitely was not wrong of you to say that marriage isn’t your top priority because it’s the truth, you can always tell him why and that you are head over heels for him and love him and he’s the man you’d marry but you’re not ready for that right now-especially since you haven’t met his family yet and know that he’s a family guy. (heh, family guy :P).
Anyways, I can’t say if you pushed him away for sure or not, only he knows that. So try to communicate with him and asked him if it was that you pushed him away or if he just missed his family and friends there so much.
It’s really not your fault that you’re so paranoid and such because of something that’s happened before and now you have a hard time trusting but believe me when I say that if you don’t stop being like this, you’re going to lose him forever. If he really loves you, he won’t break your trust. I definitely advise that you talk to a therapist about all of this and your trust issues so they can help you get back on track. If this guy really loves you, he’ll support you for speaking to a therapist, especially since it’d help you with a relationship with him and if not then with someone in the future and you’ll be able to trust again. Trust is a hard thing (I know this myself), once it’s ruined it’s hard to trust again but you have to try and trust that person unless they have strange behavior that makes you think otherwise, then let them know how you feel and ask to see proof (phone, emails, etc.) because if they really love you and aren’t hiding anything and really want to be with you, they’ll show you what they say to other people, etc. but not all guys are bad and this guy seems as if he really loves you and wants to be with you forever–he said so himself 🙂 I understand why it’s hard for you to trust but talk to a therapist and try to trust this guy–when you get a weird feeling like something bad is happening, ask yourself why you’re feeling like this and tell him how you feel. If this is true love and you guys want this to work out and it’s meant to be—you’ll do the long distance relationship. I met my boyfriend on the internet and he’s my soulmate, I’m very lucky to have found him, he’s my first everything <3 long distance relationships are not easy whatsoever but if you really love each other, nothing can stand in the way. Just e-mail, webcam, text, call, etc. whenever you can 🙂 Just let him know how you feel about him and everything and tell him that you want to be with him and if the only way you guys can be together right now is to be in a long distant relationship, let him know that you love him so much and want to make it work so you'll do whatever it takes. If this guy loves you and wants to be with you, he'll write back and let you know how he feels. After that, leave him be because it'll be his turn to respond--don't break down and send a voicemail or another text, just wait. If this guy makes you wait for too long and you don't get an answer or anything from him, I say either wait or move on--but you do deserve happiness 🙂 Best of luck and I hope this helps and everything works out between you guys

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